GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE

I would like to wish everyone the happiest of Thanksgivings. It's odd, not being home and celebrating with my family. The Americans here put together a wonderful meal the other day, so I've had my share of turkey, stuffing, and mashed spudados. I think it's just about time to make a list of things that I find myself being thankful for this year:
1) Having the opportunity to be abroad. It really is a miracle that I've made it here. A lot of people aren't afforded this type of opportunity, and I really shouldn't be taking anything for granted here.
2) Having great friends and family. I miss you all!
3) Being healthy
4) Getting interviews... I may or may not have an interview at a sneaker magazine on Monday! Plus- L'Oreal is up and coming..
5) Having sudden, unexpected, an great memories of my mom. The other day I was walking back to my place when I hear Bobby McFerrin's "Dont Worry Be Happy" playing from some cars stereo. I don't know how to explain the feeling that came over me, or how to explain why I correspond that song with her, but it was great.
There are so many things to be thankful for. As you sit around the table eating deliciously scrumptious food, remember how good life is.
Tomorrow I go to Scotland to visit a friend from high school. I'm looking forward to writing about all the adventures that await me.
Gobble gobble gobble, munch chomp yum.

<3 Dena

Paris, je t'adore!

I haven't written in a while because honestly, there hasn't been much to write about. The last week and a half I've been feeling pretty blue. I've been wondering, 'what am I even doing here?' I don't really like school, even though the people are great, and I'm not really a huge fan of living in Reims. So needless to say, I've had my doubts about being in France... and then I went to Paris.

I had been in contact with this guy Ma who I met while working at Reebok. He's on of the brand managers for lifestyle footwear (aka, the type of sneakers I collect). He was in charge of this huge project. This year is the 20th anniversary of the Reebok Pump, and Reebok decided to do a series of collaborations with some of the best boutiques across the globe. One of these boutiques is called Colette. It's probably the most famous of them all.. and just so happens to be in Paris. I had been communicating with Matt about potential networking opportunities, because he seems to know everyone under the sun. Jokingly I said, if you ever come to Paris, let me know! Well, low and behold, he was actually coming to Paris for the launch party for the Colette Pump, and was graciously allowing me to come with him.

First of all, it's pretty damn cool to even get to go to this party. Second of all, it would be a networking Mecca. Everyone important in the industry would be there, and I would have the chance to maybe meet a few people who could maybe help me find a great internship. And third of all, I would finally get to go to Paris. So, about two weeks ago, I booked my train tickets, and a hotel room in the same hotel as Matt. My reasoning for a hotel was that Matt told me that the party started at midnight. A lot of hostels have lock-out periods relatively late at night. Not knowing where the party would be, I decided that I felt rather uncomfortable having to either take the metro by myself late at night across an unfamiliar city, or having to pay an arm and a leg for a cab back home afterwards. This past Sunday I receive an email from the hotel saying that my reservation has been cancelled because my card isn't valid... which isn't true at all. Monday, I call up the hotel and tell them to try running the card again. The woman at reception was like, 'well ok... but there wouldn't be much of a point doing that because there aren't even any more available rooms." So, three days before my big Parisian adventure, I find myself without lodging. I immediately scour the internet in search of an affordable hotel close by to where Matt would be. I find it, book a room, and baddabing I'm back in business. Wednesday night, I pack a backpack with my basic necessities, plan a few outfits, and pick out my best Reebok's that I've been saving to where for an occasion such as this. (They just so happen to be the Freestyle, Paris edition. How appropriate.)

Thursday, I go to school. Sitting through my class was a painful torture. I just wanted to get to Paris! After the class finished, I booked it to the train station, arriving about an hour too early. Once on the train, I started thinking about how amazing this opportunity truly was. A mere forty-five minutes later, we pull into the train station in Paris, the same train station I experienced upon my initial arrival to France. Such nostalgia. I buy a metro ticket, and somehow seem to know exactly where I'm going. I had made plans with a friend from Northeastern who goes to American University in Paris to meet up and hang out for the afternoon. I got off the metro in the 1st arrondissement, and we met up within 5 minutes. We walked around, searching for my hotel. We got a bit lost. I thought it was a logical assumption that streets run parallel to each other in Paris. Not so much. They tend to run in no rhyme or reason. After an hour of walking around, we finally found my hotel. I checked in, got everything I needed, and off we went for more exploration/shopping. I needed to buy a nice black coat, as I didn't want to walk in to a fashion party wearing an ugly black fleece. The first store we went into, I found the perfect one at the perfect price. I love it! It was great to just walk around, look at people, and have a nice conversation. We parted ways at around 5 or so, and I went back to my hotel. On the way back, I passed by a bakery that smelled amazing. I ended up buying a slice of zucchini quiche and a little chocolate tarte. Sitting on my bed, I devoured them both quickly. It was sooooooo good.

At around quarter to eight, I headed over to Matt's hotel. He introduced me to his friend that more or less has the same job, but for the European region instead. We all went to a party at a bike shop. It was pretty laid back. We each got a beer, hung out, and left within 40 minutes. Then, it was time to head to the main party of the night: COLETTE! We get to the venue, which is one of the most posh gyms in all of Paris, and the sidewalks are packed with people trying to get in. We get in quickly with no problems at all. Inside was insane. To my right, there was a basketball court set up with Reebok sponsored players just shootin' some hoops. To my left was this whole spray paint graffiti area. It was difficult maneuvering through the crowd of beautiful, very well dressed people. We eventually made it to the bar area, which of course was completely free. We got our drinks and went to go meet some people. There were waist-heigh columns throughout the area that with sneakers on them enclosed in a plexiglass bubble. Each sneaker was one of the different collaborations of Pumps that were done. It was really cool to see them all. There was a dj spinning great, old-school hip hop. People were dancing, drinking, eating hors d'oeuvres, and just having a good time. It was unbelievable. I met a few potential contacts and got a few business cards. Overall, I had an amazingly fun, and productive, time.

The party ended at around 12:30, and off we went (there ended up being a group of 8 of us) to grab another drink and then a bite to eat. We didn't stay at the bar for very long- they hadn't eaten dinner yet and were quite hungry. We all sat down, and they began ordering steaks and burgers and even duck. I wasn't very hungry (having scarfed down quiche just a few hours prior) so I got some fries. They were delicious! We had a nice time at the restaurant, and left at around 2:30 or so. After that, we walked for just a few minutes to a club. I was absolutely exhausted, but still very willing to continue the night. We got to the club, and again didn't have to wait in any lines, and were inside immediately. They offered to buy me a drink, but I was so full that I physically couldn't put anything more inside my stomach! I think everyone was pretty tired, so we only stayed for a drink and left. We all walked back to where Matt's apartment was. He told me that if my plans happen to change and I end up staying in Paris again the next night to definitely let him know and we can all hang out. I wasn't sure if I could change my train tickets or not. So we goodbye, and one of his good friends who was with us the whole night walked me back to my hotel. He, too, said that if I had nothing else planned, that I should stay an extra night in Paris. I was back by 4 am, and knocked about by 4:10.

Waking up the next day was painful. I don't think I was hungover, but just completely exhausted from all the walking and lack of sleep. I woke up at 8:45, figuring I would need a bit of time to pack up my things and get my head straight. I checked out, and started heading back to the train station. As I was on the metro, I started thinking- well, why not stay one more night? I've been quite frugal with my money so I could afford another night in a hotel... I arrived at the train station, and started seriously considering extending my stay. I texted a few friends to ask their opinions. It was unanimous. I went to the ticketing window, paid a 9 euro fee, and left with a new train ticket for the next day. I went back to the metro station, paid for an all day metro pass, and headed back to the 2nd arrondissement where I had been staying. I texted Matt to let him know that I was staying. He had meetings all afternoon, leaving me to my own devices. I wandered around for about an hour looking for an internet cafe. Maybe I could find a cheap hostel to stay in. After that hour, I was just so exhausted that I didn't care anymore. I went back to the hotel I stayed at that night. The receptionist, who was extremely nice and helpful, looked a little confused to see me again. I explained to him that I decided to stay one more night. I booked the last available room in the hotel, left my backpack at the front desk (my room wouldn't be ready until 2pm) and off I went to explore Paris.

I walked around the 2nd and 1st arrondissements. I started to get quite hungry, so my next mission was to go and have a great lunch. But where? And then it hit me like a lightning bolt. The jewish quarter! I miss eating great food, and I know I would be satisfied with anything I got there. I hopped on the metro, zoomed over to the 3rd arrondissement, and entered Le Marais (the Jewish quarter). I didn't know where to go. An orthodox man walked by, black hat and full beard. I decided the best thing to do was to follow him. That plan worked out beautifully. I ended up passing a falafel shop. YES! I got a fantastic falafel pocket filled with hummus, eggplant, cabbage, beets etc.. I found a bench to sit on, and chomped away. After my wonderfully satisfying meal, I decided to have a fun adventure. I went to the first metro I saw, went onto a random metro line, and decided to get off at the stop that I thought sounded the best.

Low and behold, I happen to get on the perfect metro line. My destination: the Champs Elysees. I reach my destination, walk up the stairs and onto the busy streets. And then I walk. I quickly walk on to the Champs Elysees, cross beautiful bridges with gold painted statues, see the ferris wheel at Place de la Concorde, and to my right, I see the ultimate landmark throughout all the world: the Eiffel Tower. I've seen the Eiffel Tower before, but realized that I've never actually been to it in person. I meander through winding streets and eventually reach the tower. It was packed! There were Africans shaking huge rings of Eiffel Tower keychains. I thought to myself- who actually buys that crap? Just as I finished my thought, I spot a group of large Americans surrounding another merchant, eager to buy the cheap, pewter chachtkis. Classic. I spend about 4 minutes at the Eiffel Tower before realizing how tired I was. I walked back towards the Champs Elysees and instead end up on one of the most famous streets of all of Paris, lined with Gucci, Dior, Chanel, and Prada stores. There, anorexicly thin women wearing 5 inch stiletto heels paraded around with little toy poodles in their Gucci bags. Unreal. I found the nearest metro stop and managed to get myself back to my hotel with ease.

I plopped down on my bed and took a nap. I woke violently, realizing that I hadn't heard back from a woman at L'Oreal about an interview. We had been playing a little game of phone tag. I call her up and she happens to be there. We arrange a date, and baddabing, I now have an interview in Paris for L'Oreal. I then lay back down in bed, and smile myself back to sleep. I wake up at around 6 to the sound of a text message from Matt. We make plans for the night. I take a shower and attempt to make myself presentable. I meet him at his hotel at around 8 or so, and we end up at an absolutely delicious Kurdish restaurant. I had such good Kofte with spicey rice and a little salad. Yum yum yum! We then meet up with his friends at a bar just around the corner. They all seemed to be happy that I decided to stay for the night again. After a nice time at the bar/restaurant, we head to the Champs Elysees for another sneaker launch party! The taxi ride there was really nice- it was a clear, beautiful night in Paris. We end up at a club that was crowded with people looking to get in. Again, we skip the line completely and just get to walk in. Another open bar. Drinks in hand, we all manage to push our way through the crowd of people to the dance floor. This party was for a new sneaker by the brand Supra (which I happen to like a lot). It was a fun time. Good people, good entertainment, great city.

I got back to the hotel and crawled into my extremely comfortable bed, and drifted off to sleep. The next day I left Paris for good, even though I was yet again invited to stay. They were all going to a huge Tony Hawk skateboarding event on the Champs Elysees. Realistically, I can't afford to stay in hotels for three nights, and I had made prior plans with the other Americans to have an early Thanksgiving feast. As I sat on the train heading back to Reims, I realized that all of my doubts of being in France have been erased. Paris is where I need to be. It's one of the best cities I've ever been to. There, I'm in my element. I can't wait to leave Reims and move there.

I had one of the best weekends of my life. I now remember why I wanted to come to France in the first place. Paris, je t'adore.

Alas, an entry containing actual substance

Looking back on a few of my more recent blog posts, I realize that I mainly write about jibberish things that have occurred during the week as opposed to a truly substantial excerpt capturing my emotional, mental, and moral well-being. I guess one could say that the time has come for a little soul searching.

Today is officially Wednesday, November 11th. I have been abroad for just about two months. Two months. That's ludicrous. I don't feel as though it has been two months, and not necessarily because "time flies when you're having fun." (I do believe that to be true, and I have been having fun.. but not all the time) The question I face now is, where has time gone, and what have I honestly been doing with it?

Where has time gone? I'm not quite sure. Some days pass tortuously slow. Other days zoom by with the quickest of ease. What have I been doing with my time? School seems to preoccupy most of my time. I find it truly interesting that I don't feel as though I have learned an extraordinary amount in school, despite practically living there. It could be because I have taken most of the classes prior to coming here. It could be because the educational system here is not conducive to my learning style (which is a pity...). I haven't taken the initiative to really explore my surroundings. I've fallen in step with the same old routines. I need to explore this city. I have not yet gone to a champagne house- which I've come to realize as a waste of an opportunity. I'm in the biggest city of the Champagne region. Why haven't I been to a champagne cave yet? Why haven't I been inside the huge and gorgeous cathedral? Why haven't I done a legitimate day of photography? I haven't done any traveling yet, although that is to come quite soon. I feel like I've dug myself into a rut of patterns. It's time to break free from my patterns in order to maximize my remaining time here. I need to see more, experience more- the only thing preventing me from doing that is myself.

This weekend, I vow to take a day for exploration. I will go to a champagne house. I will go inside the cathedral. I will find a tiny little bakery where locals seem to flock and pick something out to eat that I've never had before. Weather permitting, I'll have a photography day. I vow to unrut myself.

Two months. I still cannot quite believe it. I am curious as to if I've changed significantly yet. I know I will during this year-long experience, but to what extent? I think that due to my past, needing to mature into an adult at a much earlier age than most, I've already found myself. I'm not sure that living abroad will be a groundbreaking experience on that front. Of course, self-discovery will happen. We change all the time. However, I know who I am, and have known for quite some time. I know my priorities. I know my values. I know what I consider important. I know what I like to do for myself- I'm capable of recognizing my own patterns and changing them before they become habitual. I consider myself highly self-aware and confident. So what then will I discover about myself? So far, I've discovered one thing that trumps all other discoveries, yet is in no way a novel concept to me:

I love my family more than anything, and I want to be close to them.

Reading this, I'm sure you're thinking: well, here comes the first bout of homesickness. Well.. not really. Here's why: At this point in time, I have no tangible home to go back to, as my dad has moved in with a friend. I've learned throughout life that home, as corny as it may sound, really is where the heart is. My heart, and home, is with my dad. It always has been. Wherever he goes, I call it home. I never stopped to realize that my entire family, literally, is in Rhode Island. I miss my cousins, my grandma, my sister. While I am for the most part enjoying immensely living abroad, I know, and have always known, that this could never be a long-term deal. I simply cannot be this far away from the people I love most- it feels wrong.

And so, my entry containing actual substantial material has turned quite heavy, and I'm not sure where to go from here. I think the best thing to do is for me to go lay down for a bit, and maybe continue to write tomorrow. If not, some other day when it feels right.

Much love to you. I'd love to hear from you if you have the chance.

Dena

My body don't love me no more

Well, I think my body is officially staging a mutiny against me.

Bedridden since Thursday.

Fevers. Aches. Sore throats. Migranes. A cough that would make any smoker jealous.

gaaaaaaaah.

going back to bed.

Can't Stop. Won't Stop

To say that I feel motivated would be an understatement.

There are times in my life where the word "motivation" doesn't even do justice to how I'm feeling. There are a few significant factors that have caused my self-esteem, confidence, and determination to yet again skyrocket out of orbit.

1. I've made a new french friend. This weekend, we were hanging out at a bar and talking. There were a few other people there, no big deal. During conversation, he said something to me that really struck hard. Apparently, I've been talking to him in English and not French. He said something along the lines of, "It's like you don't really want to try and speak the language, and just stay where at the level you're comfortable with."

Oh buddy, you have no idea who you're talking to. Me? Not want to speak a language? That's all I've ever wanted. That's my only true goal in life- to be bilingual. Sure, I'm not great at speaking French. Big friggin deal. I have valid justification as to why I've been speaking in English: If you speak to me in English, that's how I'll respond. It's natural. My brain isn't accustomed to speaking more than one language. And, since when the fuck have I settled to be at comfortable level? I always push myself one step further and further. I always set high goals, and I achieve them. I'm not mad at my friend at all- quite on the contrary. I'm happy he made this statement because if that is how I appear to be, I need to change my act quickly. I know that I'm better than average. I know I want more than average. I want the impossible, and I'll get it. From now on, I'm pushing myself to the boundaries. It's grind time, and I'm coming with a vengeance. Everything I set out to do will be accomplished. I'm unstoppable.

2. I've been in touch with former coworkers at Reebok. I was recently in touch with this guy who works there who pretty much has my dream job. He very graciously put me in touch with a few people for some networking opportunities. Turns out, he's coming to Paris for the launch of the 20th Anniversary, Reebok X Colette Pump. Colette is one of the most exclusive, well-respected brands/stores in lifestyle fashion. It's the creme de la creme. The Pump, for all of you that are reading this and think I'm talking about a high heel, was a sneaker from back in the late 80's (1989) that had a little round pump on the tongue. Ladies and gentlemen, I officially am going to the launch party at Colette. This is a BIG deal. First of all, I've always wanted to go to Colette, but never have. It's like... mecca. Secondly, it's amazing that I'm allowed to go to this launch considering that it's been almost a year since I stopped interning at Reebok- and I wasn't even in the guy's (the brand manager that I'm in contact with) department! Third, I'll finally be able to experience Paris. I've been here for going on 2 months and I haven't yet ventured outside of Reims. And fourthly, the networking opportunities at this party will be golden. This is my chance to meet key people in the industry and hopefully make some good connections. I'M SO EXCITED.

3. I almost fit comfortably into a pair of jeans that haven't fit in quite some time. They'll be butter by the time I go to Paris.

I hope people keep doubting me. I thrive off of proving them wrong. They said I couldn't get the job at Reebok. They said I wouldn't make it to France. They said I'm weird for loving sneakers. They said I'll never be bilingual. Haters, keep hating.

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.