I come home from school today at around 8 PM, my stomach turning wretchedly with hunger. I sort through my refrigerator and cabinets, pulling out whatever ingredients I find. In front of me lay a green pepper, an onion, a can of tomatoes, ground beef, and beans. Perfect- I'll whip up a quick chili. I browse through my assortment of packaged soups and miscellaneous seasonings, looking for an envelope of chili mix. I search and search, but cannot find it. I do find, however, a package and a half of taco seasoning. 'How far off could chili mix and taco seasoning be?' I think to myself. I sauté the onions and peppers, add in the beef, and some seasoning; in another pot, I simmer the tomatoes and the beans with more seasoning. The two cook separately, and I then merge the tantalizingly fragrant dishes together. They simmer. I watch eagerly, my mouth salivating in anticipation. After three antagonizing minutes, I heap generous spoonfuls in a bowl, adding just a few dozen splashes of Tabasco sauce. I sit down at my table, dig my spoon in the bowl, and then into my mouth.
Ladies and gentleman, I have officially made Taco Stew.
Let it be known that Chili Mix and Taco seasoning packets are in fact NOT interchangeable.
I'll continue to eat my taco stew and study probably one of the most boring things I've ever encountered: Incoterms. It's so boring that I can't even explain it properly (hence my need to study). Feel free to wikipedia Incoterms and relish in the content that awaits you.
On the flip side, I have a friend that is coming to visit this weekend. I'm very excited! We're going to visit the Pommery champagne caves (I'm finally going!!!) and just relax.
I had a marketing presentation on Tuesday that went FANTASTICALLY. I did all the visuals, including creating an advertisement. I honestly am questioning my choice of academic paths... I genuinely believe I should have gone into graphic design.
Alright. Time for round two of Taco Stew. Hopefully I won't fall asleep in it as I attempt to learn Incoterms. Blech.
Bon soir <3
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Startling
Just a little while ago, I was fiddling around on my computer, procrastinating as usual. I decided to have myself a little photoshoot (built in camera in my laptop). So, I'm laying in bed, snapping away, and I took this photo. I was startled looking at it.
You know how people say- 'oh you look like your mom!' or 'you look like your dad!' but you can't really see what they're talking about??
Well, let's just say that for the first time ever in my life, I could actually see what they mean.
I look exactly like my mom.
It caught me off guard.
Yowzas.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Oy vey
Time for a few updates, shall we? I find that right now in my life, there are a few major things that are well deserving of progress reports...
The Internship
Just as Winter Vacation arrived, I thought I had landed my dream job. I have the job in theory (from what I've been told) but there are a few logistical things that need to be worked out, and I'm not sure they will work out in my favor. As of now, I don't have the job, and time is ticking away. That means, as much as I don't want to, I need to start applying to other internships. I should find out early next week if I have the job, but in the meantime (just in case) I need to have more resumés in circulation. It's quite stressful not knowing the certainty of my future. It would be the understatement of the year to I will be one disappointed girl if I don't get this internship. Time will tell...
Group projects
2 down, 2 in progress, 1 needs to be started. Eh. I will finish the 2 in-progress assignments today (if I stop my procrastination.. hence me blogging right now) and then I should be able to start the final project next week. Like I said... eh.
Studying
Right... So I had mapped out a studying schedule on my calendar so that way I could better manage my time. With 13 exams to study for, time management is of the essence. As of today, I should have read all 12 of my Economics text packets. I might be half-way through packet number 2. Ruh roh. Time to kick it into overdrive if you know what I'm saying.
Finding an apartment in Paris
That definitely hasn't happened yet, but I do know who my roommate is!!! I'm very excited. My amazingly ridiculous Australian friend Michael and I will be living together. We both hope to live in the Marais, which is the trendiest neighborhood in Paris (also the Jewish/Gay). The way I figure it, between the two of us, we'll have both demographics covered! Now, it's only a matter of finding a place that won't burn holes in my pockets.
Other noteworthy notables:
Being in a tight financial position, I took the liberty of attempting to give myself a haircut of sorts. It was really just cutting my bangs. With possibly the dullest scissors known to man, I managed to butcher them into something somewhat resembling bangs. You can't really tell, but I'm highly critical of my haircuts. Needless to say, it was not of professional quality.
I've decided to curb my newest addiction to coffee. Not really worrying about the possible side effects of growth stunting, I realize that coffee, despite all of its glorious amazingness, has a side effect that I absolutely will not stand for. I suddenly remembered this side effect yesterday in class, as my teacher was lecturing us. Naturally, my mind drifted elsewhere, and I ended up focusing on her mouth. Perhaps it was the bright pink lipstick that threw me off, but it seemed that her teeth had almost a brown tint to them. They were perfect straight and lovely, aside from the coloring. I then contemplated the cause of their discoloration, and EURIEKA! I am determined that she drinks too much coffee. I absolutely refuse to let my pearly white chompers to become brown. I'm switching over to tea. Not only that, I think my body went into caffeine overload (I think 5 cups yesterday was pushing it..) and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. That's never a good sign.
My public break-up to coffee:
Dearest Coffee,
Alas, I fear we must part. Do not blame yourself- I promise that it's not you, it's me. Our romance was intensely robust and aromatic, full of energy and sweetness.
I will always remember you fondly- the way tasted, the way you filled me with warmth each and every morning, and how you were always there for me when I needed you. You gave me the motivation I needed; you helped me succeed with my studies, you picked me up when I was down, you relaxed me when I was stressed. Coffee, you inspired me. You opened my eyes.
Fate has other plans for us- I have found someone new. I promise, Coffee, it's not you- it's me. I'm lost, and in this time of confusion I have rekindled my relationship with Tea. I'm so sorry to hurt you this way- it's just that Tea doesn't give me the shakes, it's not nearly as addicting, it helps my digestive system more, and it won't stain my teeth. I know you may never forgive me. There are plenty of other people that can better appreciate all that you have to offer, but I'm just not in a place in my life where I can. I will always cherish our brief affair. I hope that someday we can be friends, but I can no longer be your lover. Coffee- I'm sorry.
Yours truly,
Dena
Pheeewww! That was a relief. I feel awful, but I knew it was the right decision.
Well, that's about all the procrastinating I can afford to do today. I should have already paid my electric bill and gone grocery shopping by now- both of which have not happened.
How is everyone?! I haven't heard from many of you readers in a while (...not that I even know if people are even reading this bad boy). Feel free to send me some love. It's ALWAYS appreciated!
be well
xoxo Dena
The Internship
Just as Winter Vacation arrived, I thought I had landed my dream job. I have the job in theory (from what I've been told) but there are a few logistical things that need to be worked out, and I'm not sure they will work out in my favor. As of now, I don't have the job, and time is ticking away. That means, as much as I don't want to, I need to start applying to other internships. I should find out early next week if I have the job, but in the meantime (just in case) I need to have more resumés in circulation. It's quite stressful not knowing the certainty of my future. It would be the understatement of the year to I will be one disappointed girl if I don't get this internship. Time will tell...
Group projects
2 down, 2 in progress, 1 needs to be started. Eh. I will finish the 2 in-progress assignments today (if I stop my procrastination.. hence me blogging right now) and then I should be able to start the final project next week. Like I said... eh.
Studying
Right... So I had mapped out a studying schedule on my calendar so that way I could better manage my time. With 13 exams to study for, time management is of the essence. As of today, I should have read all 12 of my Economics text packets. I might be half-way through packet number 2. Ruh roh. Time to kick it into overdrive if you know what I'm saying.
Finding an apartment in Paris
That definitely hasn't happened yet, but I do know who my roommate is!!! I'm very excited. My amazingly ridiculous Australian friend Michael and I will be living together. We both hope to live in the Marais, which is the trendiest neighborhood in Paris (also the Jewish/Gay). The way I figure it, between the two of us, we'll have both demographics covered! Now, it's only a matter of finding a place that won't burn holes in my pockets.
Other noteworthy notables:
Being in a tight financial position, I took the liberty of attempting to give myself a haircut of sorts. It was really just cutting my bangs. With possibly the dullest scissors known to man, I managed to butcher them into something somewhat resembling bangs. You can't really tell, but I'm highly critical of my haircuts. Needless to say, it was not of professional quality.
I've decided to curb my newest addiction to coffee. Not really worrying about the possible side effects of growth stunting, I realize that coffee, despite all of its glorious amazingness, has a side effect that I absolutely will not stand for. I suddenly remembered this side effect yesterday in class, as my teacher was lecturing us. Naturally, my mind drifted elsewhere, and I ended up focusing on her mouth. Perhaps it was the bright pink lipstick that threw me off, but it seemed that her teeth had almost a brown tint to them. They were perfect straight and lovely, aside from the coloring. I then contemplated the cause of their discoloration, and EURIEKA! I am determined that she drinks too much coffee. I absolutely refuse to let my pearly white chompers to become brown. I'm switching over to tea. Not only that, I think my body went into caffeine overload (I think 5 cups yesterday was pushing it..) and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. That's never a good sign.
My public break-up to coffee:
Dearest Coffee,
Alas, I fear we must part. Do not blame yourself- I promise that it's not you, it's me. Our romance was intensely robust and aromatic, full of energy and sweetness.
I will always remember you fondly- the way tasted, the way you filled me with warmth each and every morning, and how you were always there for me when I needed you. You gave me the motivation I needed; you helped me succeed with my studies, you picked me up when I was down, you relaxed me when I was stressed. Coffee, you inspired me. You opened my eyes.
Fate has other plans for us- I have found someone new. I promise, Coffee, it's not you- it's me. I'm lost, and in this time of confusion I have rekindled my relationship with Tea. I'm so sorry to hurt you this way- it's just that Tea doesn't give me the shakes, it's not nearly as addicting, it helps my digestive system more, and it won't stain my teeth. I know you may never forgive me. There are plenty of other people that can better appreciate all that you have to offer, but I'm just not in a place in my life where I can. I will always cherish our brief affair. I hope that someday we can be friends, but I can no longer be your lover. Coffee- I'm sorry.
Yours truly,
Dena
Pheeewww! That was a relief. I feel awful, but I knew it was the right decision.
Well, that's about all the procrastinating I can afford to do today. I should have already paid my electric bill and gone grocery shopping by now- both of which have not happened.
How is everyone?! I haven't heard from many of you readers in a while (...not that I even know if people are even reading this bad boy). Feel free to send me some love. It's ALWAYS appreciated!
be well
xoxo Dena
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Addiction
My mom was addicted to coffee. She would drink what seemed like an entire pot of it before heading out to work in the mornings. I used to wonder:
'At what point in life does one even begin to drink coffee regularly?'
and
'How did it get to the point that she depends on the stuff? What happened in her life that caused her to drink so much coffee?'
Well, ladies and gent- I now understand. At the tender age of 22 (!) I have begun my addiction to the most common gateway drugs: caffeine. Coffee- I love you now, even though I will regret you later.
I'm already pushing my 2nd cup of the morning, with a forecast of many cups to follow.
zzzzzzzZZZZZING!
'At what point in life does one even begin to drink coffee regularly?'
and
'How did it get to the point that she depends on the stuff? What happened in her life that caused her to drink so much coffee?'
Well, ladies and gent- I now understand. At the tender age of 22 (!) I have begun my addiction to the most common gateway drugs: caffeine. Coffee- I love you now, even though I will regret you later.
I'm already pushing my 2nd cup of the morning, with a forecast of many cups to follow.
zzzzzzzZZZZZING!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Bittersweet
I've been meaning to update my blog for quite some time now. I had a wonderful vacation with my sister in Prague, and then with my best friend in Paris. I have been meaning to write about all of the wonderful adventures, quirky discoveries, and oddities of Prague. I have been meaning to write about how appreciative I was to finally be with people who truly know me, and have for years.
I have been meaning to write about these things, but suddenly, I cannot. I thought that this afternoon I might finally have enough free time to organize my thoughts and pour them into this digital space- but suddenly, I do not.
Upon arriving to my studio this afternoon, I discovered that my grandma, Nana Bernice, had passed away. Earlier this week she had a stroke, and I knew that she was in poor condition. My dad gave me brief updates, and then that they were moving her in to hospice.
I understand death to be a part of life. It can happen unexpectedly, naturally, painfully, or even unfairly. Sometimes, it is impossible to understand the complexities of why it happens at a certain time, or why at all.
With this loss of one of my family members, I find that I am not questioning the reasons or logic behind death. My Nana lived a long life, that was of course bound to end at some point. I just didn't expect it so soon. I have to say, I'm a bit numbed by it.
Nana Bernice... there's a lot to say about that woman. She was my dad's step-mom, but I've only known her as my nana. Growing up, our relationship was far from... existent. We would see her and my grandfather often, but she was always cold towards us. It was almost as if she didn't love us, the "step-grandchildren" as much as her own blood grandchildren. I'm not sure if that is true anymore. She often offended me, made comments about my weight using little to no tact, and never said I love you. She was anal-retentive, and a bit obsessive compulsive. This woman was as tough as nails. The highest compliment she ever gave me was: "oh, that's interesting." But that's the way she was. To everyone.
As my grandfather become sick, and I grew older, I started to see her change. This bitter, red-headed, little woman had to support herself, and her husband. She was dedicated to him, refusing to let him live in a residence facilities. As his Alzheimers worsened, her patience grew. It was easy to see how lonely her life had become. When I would stop by her house every once in a while, she seemed to light up with happiness, although of course she never directly admitted it. That was fine by me. She began asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner. One day, she complimented me, saying that I was looking great with all the weight I had lost. This backhanded compliment caught me off guard- I was flattered. Maybe 2 or so years ago, I stopped by the house for a quick visit. She was happy to see me. We talked for a little bit, and as I was leaving, she gave me a hug and said "I love you." I was tempted to look around the room and see if she was really saying that to me. Instead, I gave her a kiss on the cheek, said "you too" and headed out the door.
I'm not feeling frustrated, or angry that she died. She was old, and died of natural causes. I don't particularly feel guilty- that I should have been closer with her, or been more in contact with her. I know I should have called her more, but I did the best I could do. It's hard to establish a very close relationship with someone who had not been particularly warm to you. I know she loved me, and she was never "mean" to me... but I feel bittersweet. I'll cherish the memories of her fondly, for there were quite a few good ones.
She was a quirky woman, sometimes a bit cold, but always a great grandmother. She was always there whenever I needed any help, and always sent me a card at least 3 days before my actual birthday. She never forgot once... not a single year. She may not have been as physically or verbally affectionate as my other grandmother, but she loved me. It took me a few years to finally see it, but I know it to be true.
I feel a bit numb right now. How could my red-headed Nana Bernice be gone? Despite her fragile (and shrinking) body, I always envisioned her as invincible. It is a part of life that I must accept. I cry silent tears, knowing that I'll never see her again.
Nana, I love you and miss you. You are forever in my heart.
I have been meaning to write about these things, but suddenly, I cannot. I thought that this afternoon I might finally have enough free time to organize my thoughts and pour them into this digital space- but suddenly, I do not.
Upon arriving to my studio this afternoon, I discovered that my grandma, Nana Bernice, had passed away. Earlier this week she had a stroke, and I knew that she was in poor condition. My dad gave me brief updates, and then that they were moving her in to hospice.
I understand death to be a part of life. It can happen unexpectedly, naturally, painfully, or even unfairly. Sometimes, it is impossible to understand the complexities of why it happens at a certain time, or why at all.
With this loss of one of my family members, I find that I am not questioning the reasons or logic behind death. My Nana lived a long life, that was of course bound to end at some point. I just didn't expect it so soon. I have to say, I'm a bit numbed by it.
Nana Bernice... there's a lot to say about that woman. She was my dad's step-mom, but I've only known her as my nana. Growing up, our relationship was far from... existent. We would see her and my grandfather often, but she was always cold towards us. It was almost as if she didn't love us, the "step-grandchildren" as much as her own blood grandchildren. I'm not sure if that is true anymore. She often offended me, made comments about my weight using little to no tact, and never said I love you. She was anal-retentive, and a bit obsessive compulsive. This woman was as tough as nails. The highest compliment she ever gave me was: "oh, that's interesting." But that's the way she was. To everyone.
As my grandfather become sick, and I grew older, I started to see her change. This bitter, red-headed, little woman had to support herself, and her husband. She was dedicated to him, refusing to let him live in a residence facilities. As his Alzheimers worsened, her patience grew. It was easy to see how lonely her life had become. When I would stop by her house every once in a while, she seemed to light up with happiness, although of course she never directly admitted it. That was fine by me. She began asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner. One day, she complimented me, saying that I was looking great with all the weight I had lost. This backhanded compliment caught me off guard- I was flattered. Maybe 2 or so years ago, I stopped by the house for a quick visit. She was happy to see me. We talked for a little bit, and as I was leaving, she gave me a hug and said "I love you." I was tempted to look around the room and see if she was really saying that to me. Instead, I gave her a kiss on the cheek, said "you too" and headed out the door.
I'm not feeling frustrated, or angry that she died. She was old, and died of natural causes. I don't particularly feel guilty- that I should have been closer with her, or been more in contact with her. I know I should have called her more, but I did the best I could do. It's hard to establish a very close relationship with someone who had not been particularly warm to you. I know she loved me, and she was never "mean" to me... but I feel bittersweet. I'll cherish the memories of her fondly, for there were quite a few good ones.
She was a quirky woman, sometimes a bit cold, but always a great grandmother. She was always there whenever I needed any help, and always sent me a card at least 3 days before my actual birthday. She never forgot once... not a single year. She may not have been as physically or verbally affectionate as my other grandmother, but she loved me. It took me a few years to finally see it, but I know it to be true.
I feel a bit numb right now. How could my red-headed Nana Bernice be gone? Despite her fragile (and shrinking) body, I always envisioned her as invincible. It is a part of life that I must accept. I cry silent tears, knowing that I'll never see her again.
Nana, I love you and miss you. You are forever in my heart.
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